1989
- Went to a new school again, getting good at feeling like an alien.
- The infamous bathing suit incident...on the second day of school we had swimming, and to my horror one of my classmates, the most gorgeous blondest one, had exactly the same swimsuit as me! Exactly! And in that instant I knew that she was the popular one, and I was the daggy new kid, and that i had no right to be suited thusly. An awful awful faux pas (with the K-Mart bathers). We went on to become fast friends, lifelong thus far.
- Made my first cocktail: Rocket Fuel, meaning a liberal dash of everything in the lockpicked liquor cabinet. I remember sniffing in disbelief at the vermouth bottle, pondering why the fuck would grown ups drink this cheese-flavoured piss? Obviously I was too young to pronounce 'dirty martini'.
- Learnt to smoke and skip school and pick the bad kids out of the crowd, lifelong skills to nurture. I skipped school with my b-fatt (best-friend-at-the-time) and went to the city, discovered a place called crystal T's which was a pool hall on george st right next to the movie cinemas. We went there and played pool and smoked and the owner bade us call her Mum and seemed to think we were homeless kids from the laneway, such was our westie patina. Then we watched 'War of the Roses' and went home feeling satisifed and clever. Despite changing back into my school uniform and catching the regular school bus home, I was totally busted anyway as the bee-yatch form teacher had called my mum to see if I really was sick or not.
- I got formally suspended from school for smoking and skipping school (see above). Which sounds fun, except that me and b-fatt had to serve our suspensions AT SCHOOL locked in small rooms doing ancient letraset worksheets about verbs. Less suspended, more imprisoned. On the final day of suspension, due to space constraints, me and b-fatt were shoved in a small room together (a thinly partitioned annexe to the principal's office) and ordered not to speak to each other. So we obediently set about passing rude notes to each other and miming our teen hearts out. Late in the day the madness set in, and I tried to climb upon a chair upon a table to spy thru the crack near the ceiling and see if Sister Blister was in her office. Of course I fell in a heap and had to go get x-rays. Mum was So Proud of me that week. But in later years mum would giggle at Sister Blister's rage at the fact that, not only had I skipped school and smoked, but that I had gone to see a movie about DIVORCE!
- Got my first guitar, red electric guitar. My friends bought it for me when my b'day was cancelled as the meted punishment (see 4). I joined a band with friend called Tiff who also had an instrument she couldn't play (drums).
- First school holiday camp, first kiss, first boyfriend (second name of Spitz, bad bad omen about a bad bad kisser). Don't really remember much about the camp, but it was fun, and cold, and there may have been canoeing. And a foodfight.
- Went to the U2 concert: my first big concert I nearly vomited everywhere for weekes beforehand due to the excitement. I wore green shorts, and screamed loudly during the songs. My mother kindly suggested that I should scream at the end of the song, lest those around me want to hear the music.
- Then there was the small matter of the Copperart bronze horse disaster. I was looking for a christmas present to capture my teen intentions of friendship toward my new b-fatt, and I found this polished bronze statue of a horse on its hind legs. Gee wizz I thought my mate will love this, seeing as how she loves horses. When I excitedly gave it to her (having spend three times as much on it as other presents for friends and family) she unwrapped it and stared in disbelief. First she checked me to see if it was a joke, and laughed, then I was mortified and she said kindly, "but matey, its awful!!" And she was so right, damn those shopping centres with their lights and their marketing.
- Nearly got expelled for swearing at a teacher. Was it my fault that his name rhymed with Mr Turd, and that he had extensive childhood trauma due to this fact? Sadistic, petty turd-guy.
- Last hurrah at the Penn.... for the last 4 or 5 years we took a family summer holiday to Surfer's Paradise and stayed at this ridiculously highrise hotel that was just glorious. We piled in the car and drove for two days, usually on boxing day at dawn's crack, and then spend a week or two lolling about with lots of food and surfing and lollies. Perfect happy childhood stuff. So this was the last year we went, cause we kids were getting a bit old perfect holidays, preferring hanging out with our pimply friends in suburban carparks complaining about our parents.
- The infamous bathing suit incident...on the second day of school we had swimming, and to my horror one of my classmates, the most gorgeous blondest one, had exactly the same swimsuit as me! Exactly! And in that instant I knew that she was the popular one, and I was the daggy new kid, and that i had no right to be suited thusly. An awful awful faux pas (with the K-Mart bathers). We went on to become fast friends, lifelong thus far.
- Made my first cocktail: Rocket Fuel, meaning a liberal dash of everything in the lockpicked liquor cabinet. I remember sniffing in disbelief at the vermouth bottle, pondering why the fuck would grown ups drink this cheese-flavoured piss? Obviously I was too young to pronounce 'dirty martini'.
- Learnt to smoke and skip school and pick the bad kids out of the crowd, lifelong skills to nurture. I skipped school with my b-fatt (best-friend-at-the-time) and went to the city, discovered a place called crystal T's which was a pool hall on george st right next to the movie cinemas. We went there and played pool and smoked and the owner bade us call her Mum and seemed to think we were homeless kids from the laneway, such was our westie patina. Then we watched 'War of the Roses' and went home feeling satisifed and clever. Despite changing back into my school uniform and catching the regular school bus home, I was totally busted anyway as the bee-yatch form teacher had called my mum to see if I really was sick or not.
- I got formally suspended from school for smoking and skipping school (see above). Which sounds fun, except that me and b-fatt had to serve our suspensions AT SCHOOL locked in small rooms doing ancient letraset worksheets about verbs. Less suspended, more imprisoned. On the final day of suspension, due to space constraints, me and b-fatt were shoved in a small room together (a thinly partitioned annexe to the principal's office) and ordered not to speak to each other. So we obediently set about passing rude notes to each other and miming our teen hearts out. Late in the day the madness set in, and I tried to climb upon a chair upon a table to spy thru the crack near the ceiling and see if Sister Blister was in her office. Of course I fell in a heap and had to go get x-rays. Mum was So Proud of me that week. But in later years mum would giggle at Sister Blister's rage at the fact that, not only had I skipped school and smoked, but that I had gone to see a movie about DIVORCE!
- Got my first guitar, red electric guitar. My friends bought it for me when my b'day was cancelled as the meted punishment (see 4). I joined a band with friend called Tiff who also had an instrument she couldn't play (drums).
- First school holiday camp, first kiss, first boyfriend (second name of Spitz, bad bad omen about a bad bad kisser). Don't really remember much about the camp, but it was fun, and cold, and there may have been canoeing. And a foodfight.
- Went to the U2 concert: my first big concert I nearly vomited everywhere for weekes beforehand due to the excitement. I wore green shorts, and screamed loudly during the songs. My mother kindly suggested that I should scream at the end of the song, lest those around me want to hear the music.
- Then there was the small matter of the Copperart bronze horse disaster. I was looking for a christmas present to capture my teen intentions of friendship toward my new b-fatt, and I found this polished bronze statue of a horse on its hind legs. Gee wizz I thought my mate will love this, seeing as how she loves horses. When I excitedly gave it to her (having spend three times as much on it as other presents for friends and family) she unwrapped it and stared in disbelief. First she checked me to see if it was a joke, and laughed, then I was mortified and she said kindly, "but matey, its awful!!" And she was so right, damn those shopping centres with their lights and their marketing.
- Nearly got expelled for swearing at a teacher. Was it my fault that his name rhymed with Mr Turd, and that he had extensive childhood trauma due to this fact? Sadistic, petty turd-guy.
- Last hurrah at the Penn.... for the last 4 or 5 years we took a family summer holiday to Surfer's Paradise and stayed at this ridiculously highrise hotel that was just glorious. We piled in the car and drove for two days, usually on boxing day at dawn's crack, and then spend a week or two lolling about with lots of food and surfing and lollies. Perfect happy childhood stuff. So this was the last year we went, cause we kids were getting a bit old perfect holidays, preferring hanging out with our pimply friends in suburban carparks complaining about our parents.
Labels: recollections
posted by cardboardy @ 3:54 pm
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