note to self

Don’t use the word 'constipation' when delivering a professional seminar.
No matter how clever the joke is, no matter how perfectly suited to the example a constipation analagy is, no matter how close to the end of the fourth hour.... don't go there. People will find you neither funny nor clever.

And yet despite this, you know that you are the funniest and the cleverest of everyone (except for Q) (who is funnier than a wet week).