shitlist

The world needs more lists. Since my cousin with OCD became too heavily medicated to keep up with her list habit, the rest of us need to pull more weight.

Some things that shit me.

1. Mental Fucking Illness.
Why are all my friends and family mad, diagnosed, and on hard core anti psychotics? Has being human got harder? Maybe I'm a nut magnet.

2. That Umpire
It's a good thing the Aussies stormed home with three lucky last-minute goals, or there would be foul on the streets (that is a pun evoking both sports news and Egyptian cuisine. Genious.)

3. Kev
Unemployed back-up dancer. This would also be on the 'funniest thing in the world list', had I written it.

4. Industrial Action
Sounds glamourous. Isn't.

5. Distressed denim
Nothing is worse that fake wear-marks (and bleach streaks evoking said wear) on denim clothes that have never even been worn.

6. sentient pimples
I have to give three presentations tomorrow. So it pleases me that an enourmous zit is giving birth to itself on my chin. It is slightly off centre, and puts me in mind of an iceberg. Thats right, nine-tenths of it is yet to the surface.

7. celine dion
everything ever. still.

8. rats jumping from sinking ships
My colleage, lets call her Amy, has resigned and is finishing up this week. Amy is moving on to a better job, with better pay. Watch closely as my workload increases to make up for her absence. While the rest of us sit on our deckchairs and ponder the meaning of 'demoralising', waiting to see what the bosses will do next to our wages and conditions.

9. the spare room
It's all well and good to be a grown up with a spare room. Unless of course all your friends and family either live interstate, or are scumbags who live nowhere at all, in which case your spare room is less 'spare' and more 'their'. Gentle baby Jesus please send me an extension.