jailbait

i went to prison today.
my employer said 'go directly to jail', do a job there, and diligently thus I went.

i figure most people never ever see the inside of a prison, so i guess im lucky.
oh privatised profiteer, let me count your locks. its almost slapstick how many locked gates and crazy turnstiles and beep beep open doors and regular tumbling lock doors just everywhere.

and the grounds, such impeccable landscaping!

so i finish up my job, and im waiting at the foot of the panopticon in the middle of the cell block, saying to anyone who'll listen,"can someone please escort me out of here?"
big mistake, i should have just staged a bust out. but i found myself doing hard time instead (sans tracksuit).
instead i landed a fat middleaged uniformed male of unspecified intelligence (but clearly too stoopid to go to cop school) with the most slag-tacular moustache. He proceded to asssault me with a series of totally unfunny jokes, utterly uninteresting anectotes and staggeringly dull observations about life behind the walls. just wacking on and on and on about utter shite, from his station of importance there in cell block whatever. and i'm just there, shifting from foot to foot to prevent my brain from dropping out thru my ass, and i kept saying "that's great, but who's gonna escort me out of here?" but to no avail. there at his mercy, i was, until what seemed like hours later, i was rescued by the The Freak and her many, many keys.

here's to hoping that i have a near-fatal car crash in exactly four weeks when i'm scheduled for my return visit. Nurse, the pain is a 10.